Bended knee

Those of you who know me know that I am not a very religious person. Don’t get me wrong I am not an atheist. I do believe in God. I am just not a church goer who feels I must pray every night and go to church every Sunday to have Gods blessing. I know with all my heart and soul that he exists and that he has a purpose and a plan for us all.

I am at a crossroad in my life where as much as I know in my heart that he has a plan and purpose for me…I’m beginning to wonder what that is. I am not changing my belief that everything happens for a reason and with every choice we are given a lesson. I am just not sure where my road is headed or even why it is the way it is.

I am at this point down on bended knee. Please don’t take me as ungrateful. I am completely grateful for all my friends and family that have been there and here for me in a time if need but I can only wonder how long this time of need will last. The struggle…the heartache…the sickness…the pain…how much longer?

What is my lesson Lord? I beg of you on bended knee please give me guidance..give me strength…give me willingness…show me the way.

This struggle has gone on more then a year and it seems with each helpfulness comes another struggle…another bump in the road.

I know I must love myself to love others and be happy with myself to be happy with others but it seems so hard at times. I am so grateful and thankful for all that you give to me Lord. My children…my life…my beating heart…but

Please Lord I am on bended knee begging for you to show me the way.

I know I’ve made some choices that negatively affected others and in the long run myself but Lord haven’t I made some good choices as well?

Here I am on bended knee asking you to show me the way…